Act I

It's time for a departure, the sharpest arrow in my heart
And your the archer, I fly away to brighter days
And leave behind you father, by the fireplace
I used to see your sighing face softening
I'm lost for oxygen and crying now because of him
He tried to take his own life, how could he hate his own wife,
How could he fight his own son, remember that my whole life
I loved you, I must have been eleven when I hugged you
The last time, exam results are out and now I've passed mine
I'm going, I know I speak about you in my poem all the time,
I pray your hear me calling pouring out a rhyme and falling
Out of sight and out of mind I count to nine and wake up
See I've been dreaming we would make up but dreaming
Dreaming isn't real I'll only when heal I am leaving,
So this evening I came to say Goodbye
I'll see you when you the wounds no longer bleeding
At least maybe I could try.


Act II


He was sitting by the window in the Restaurant.
To anyone he would appear as stable as the table
His elbows rested on.
I stepped along a carpet corridor towards him
flanked by happy families pausing to twiddle their fork
as I walk past - a glance then resume talking.
Just about this and that, just how we used to chat
and if my elbows were smack on the table...
Mum would look at me 'til I reluctantly put
them on my lap.
That was my thought
as I walked the short distance to the man,
that said he hadn't planned for me
or my sister to be brought to existence.
He loved us though - but found it tough to show.
I know there were hugs
but when push comes to shove.
I know the pushes and shoves.

Now as I'm close, I wonder if he thinks about that moment, that fight that I think about the most,

He rose. Like the glass in the hands of that ageing
Asian bloke to our left who just raised a toast.
I sit down. I whip round the waiter pours pours my water I'm still
Three - no wait, four ice cubes, I get the hint I'll chill...
Handshake - firm grip 'cos he said
"Son that's strength of character".
My mental barrier prevents me thinking that
I'm strong and your cowardly.
In reality I simply want you to be proud of me.
And thats absurd, here's a man that has
To have a drink like the drink was the last word
So when you think about it the last word
Was in fact - slurred.
I heard his voice
And returned to the mad world...

He asks me "are you keeping alright?"
No Dad I'm not sleeping at night.
Your the reason I'm needing to write
otherwise I'd be seeking advice
From the people that might understand
You aren't the only selfish man
who ran from his wife and children...

Act III

Anyone ever get the feeling that your not supposed to win,
Your not supposed to grin cos the air is heavier than ever
And your hopes are thin,
Spoken hymns echo from the broken fragments of my past
I glance at dads photographs and touch another world
Beneath the frosted glass, often massed are the memories
I've lost at last.
Like the one time....
We played football all day I lost the match
I was only six, I wish that man could still exist

Epilogue

I was watching my mum breakdown with a heavy heart
That's hard to see, my father went to the pharmacy
Planning an overdose, phoning home
To say he was sorry for what he had done to us,
Imagine being a child whose parents both didn't want to live...
Imagine being that child for two years and saying nothing
And staying positive, you don't know me.
Unless your close to Christian James Foley,
If my words can assist you with your troubles,
I'd say its not without reason we all struggle...