The city peels away and still I run on, feet drum on
The grit-grains and asphalt. Momentarily, I lock the last vaults of memory
And see where I stand.

I look up to the face of a tall man walking past, he casts
A glance to me with eyes that disbelieve and recognise
Simultaneously.

Why am I not slowing down? his eyes are portals, in which
I could climb, transporting us both to an earlier time
Why am I not slowing down?

Now, he must be eighteen, we’ve been strangers for years
The eyes haven’t changed,
My only son still veiled by tears

Why am I not slowing down? Five paces, four, three, two...
I am just one pace away,
Then I am two, then three, four, five...

I strode on. A woman he’s with
Asks ‘who that was’, and the echo of his reply goes on
And on for so long. He told her ‘it was no one.’

A mile later I stop, yet the traffic stutters on -
All throaty engines wheezing their mucus and fumes
Sad eyed windows still blink, trying to make sense of it all.

The city turns in its fitful sleep
I see my father pass me by and merge with the murk
His filmy eyes speak of the mysteries

That the dead have for the living.
I hear old oar splashes, and the clink of bicycle bells
As the memories push and bulge, then pull at me

Like sea-swell. Yet, what I see most
Is the ripe apple-green grass of a garden
Tears of dew cling to its tips they are flicked into the summer

By the bristles of a thick paintbrush. A tin of white paint creates a line
Not quite straight, but straight enough for my son. A little football pitch,
Takes its drunken shape - all off-kilter and tilting.

And what I see most,
Is the poem he wrote on that day, that I meant to read
But I never took note.

‘My Dad is a giant.
My Dad could drive a bus if he wanted to
He wants to drive trains though.
My dad buys me army men
And is good at pretending to be a dog.
He takes me to the football
And he taught me how to pass
One day he made a stadium
And painted white lines on the grass’

I’m sorry son, I’ve not done what I’d rather
I should come back, I could back
But I just keep running...

Farther.”


The End.